The Myth Of Life Balance   

By Margie Warrell

Picture the circus performer up on a tight rope. He’s got his balance beam moving up and down on each side. Somewhere between the top and the bottom of each movement he hits ‘perfect balance’. But no sooner has he hit perfect balance and he’s moving away from it again ready to adjust his beam back the other way… and on it goes.

So it is in our lives… nothing stays the same for long, our environment is in a state of constant change.  Sometimes we’re moving away from balance, sometimes toward it. Whenever we think we have it… “poof” … something happens (we get a promotion, our child starts a new sport,  an employee leaves and its up to us to pick up the slack, a child gets sick rendering us house bound…) and it’s gone again.

THE SECRET TO MAINTAINING BALANCE

The fact is, if you are someone who is industriously moving toward your goals (hopefully ones that inspire you!!) then there is never enough time in the day to do everything you want. HOWEVER,  there is always enough time to do the most important things. 

You may feel pulled in multiple directions simultaneously and like living each day is one big juggling act, one where you too often drop a ball here and there. At the end of the day, you can’t be committed to everything so you have to make a choice… what are you most committed to?   The key to maintaining a balanced life is to be clear on what it is that you really want to have in your life and what is required to fulfill those commitments. If you are then you will have a compass to guide your choices,  what you commit to and how you allocate your time.

 
“Sometimes you have to say no to the good
to make room for the great”

    
One technique to help you get clear on what you are most committed to is simply to write it down. Get out a pen and paper and write down what you want to have in your life most of all – in your career, relationships, finances, health & wellbeing, creativity, leadership etc

Then break it down some more. For example, in your relationships, WHO are you most committed to? Are those relationships where you would like them to be? Do you spend enough time with the people you value the most?

Once you’ve done this then the secret to maintaining balance is to regularly ask yourself (and honestly answer)  “Is what I’m committing to reflect what I am most committed to?”

SIGNS THAT YOU’RE GETTING OFF BALANCE
There are numerous warning signs which are good indicators about whether your life is moving away from balance or is flat out, off balance.   When we don’t listen to what our bodies are trying to tell us (that our immune systems are running on empty) or hail other warning signs (like the ones in our relationships) then sooner or later we’ll pay a very profound price for not doing so.

BALANCE MINI QUIZ
Do this mini quiz to assess if your life might be in need of some more balance. Do any of these statements ring true for you:

1. I am having to deal with more health issues that I used to 
2. I find myself feeling stressed out about a lot of things, even little stuff I know shouldn’t really be getting to me
3. I spend a lot more time at work than I would like to and/or my spouse/family complain a about it a lot
4. I rarely take time for self reflection to think about how I’m managing my life and the direction my life is taking me
5. Physically I just don’t feel great about myself; I feel unfit and out of shape 
6. My relationships aren’t very rewarding, there’s a lot of unresolved issues that I haven’t got time or energy to address
7. I rarely spend quality time with the people I care about the most
8. I seem to catch every cold that comes in the office
9. I struggle to say ‘no’ to requests and consequently often commit to things I’d  really prefer not to then stress myself out trying to keep them
10. I can’t remember the last time I sat down and just indulged in an activity totally for myself (read a book, took a bath…) 

If any of these resonated with you then it’s worthwhile having a serious think about how you could adjust how you are spending your time (and what you’re committing yourself to)  to restore some balance into your life. 

“Being true to the things you are most committed to will give you the balance you want. But first you must be very clear about what it is that you are most committed to.”

    
THE FOUNDATION FOR BALANCE

Unfortunately the first ball that we usually drop in our daily juggling act to get everything done is the most important one.  That is the “Self Ball” which looks after our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing and lies at the foundation for everything else we want to achieve in our lives.

We drop the “Self Ball”  first because,  in the short term, we experience the least negative repercussions for doing so.  However, the consequences for not taking time out for ourselves – whether to cook healthy meals, to exercise our bodies, to quiet our minds or to focus on our future  -  can be profound.  Don’t take my word for it though… take a look at the statistics on lifestyle diseases, obesity, stress related illnesses, depression…

“Being out of shape is being out of balance.
It’s a choice, a choice you have to make every day”
Oprah

Ultimately the only guaranteed way to find time in your busy day to nurture your body, spirit and mind, is to prioritize and schedule it like you do so many of the other things in your life.  When you are feeling great – in body, mind and spirit - you  are far better able to juggle all your other balls,  take all those daily stressors on in your long balanced stride and truly enjoy this journey we call ‘life’!

TIPS FOR RESTORING YOUR LIFE’S BALANCE

1. - Schedule time into your diary  to exercise. Use the “1% Rule” which requires spending just 1% of your week engaged in physical activity…. that’s about 3 x 30 minutes … not much in the scheme of things but enough to make a big difference to how you feel and look!
2. - Take a look at how much time you are spending with your family through the week and schedule in time to spend 1:1 time with each of your children and with your spouse regularly (and if you just haven’t got time then cut back on something else to create it!)
3. - Practice “Single Handling” to use your time more efficiently and free up time for other activities (exercise, relationships, your hobbies).  If there is something you are working on that requires a lot of concentration try to get it done without distraction… close your office door, divert your phone, work from home… whatever it takes.  Studies have interruptions have a huge impact on your efficiency.  For more on time management read my 11/03 newsletter  “Invest Your Time For Maximum Pay-Off!”
4. - Use the 80/20 Rule in your eating - eating healthy foods 80% of the time and indulging yourself 20% of the time (i.e. more fruits and veggies, less stuff from boxes and cans!).

 
“If we fail to nourish our souls, they wither, and without soul, life ceases to have meaning”
Marion Woodman, Ph D

    


Workingmoms.calm  How smart women balance family & career by Danielle Kennedy
Filled with practical ideas and ways to help take the stress out of pursuing a career whilst raising great kids. Lot’s of common sense perspectives that you just may not have thought of before.  

The Power Of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.  You may or may not be much into personal development books but whether you are or not, this book will be one that stretches the way you view yourself in this world. It is not light reading but it is very thought provoking and profound.